A long-standing tradition of gift-giving has come under scrutiny for one older gay man following the death of his mother. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, has continued to give a monetary gift of $50 to each child in his family, a practice started by his mother. However, with the family expanding, the cost of this tradition has increased, and he questions whether he should persist in this practice due to a lack of acknowledgment from most recipients.
After reconciling with his family before his mother’s passing, the man finds himself in a complex situation. While he feels comfortable financially and wishes to honor his mother’s memory, only one of the parents has acknowledged the gifts. He is aware that some of the grandchildren may harbor feelings of entitlement regarding their inheritance, which could affect their perception of his contributions.
In response to these concerns, advice columnist Eric Thomas suggests that the man should focus on his own feelings rather than trying to manage the reactions of others. Thomas emphasizes that a gift is primarily a symbol of good intentions and love, and how it is received is beyond the giver’s control. He encourages the man to reassess the tradition without guilt if it does not yield the emotional fulfillment he seeks.
Thomas stated, “We don’t give in order to receive thanks, but gifts should be acknowledged.” He points out that the act of giving and the expected acknowledgment form a vital part of healthy relationships. The relationship this man shares with his mother’s memory remains central to his decision-making.
Yet, Thomas also urges the man to consider alternative ways to honor his mother that may offer greater satisfaction. By reflecting on what the tradition means to him personally, he can decide whether to continue the practice or explore new methods to celebrate his mother’s legacy.
Ultimately, the decision rests on balancing personal sentiment against family dynamics. The man must weigh the joy of giving against the apparent lack of appreciation from family members. As he considers his next steps, the focus should remain on what brings him peace and fulfillment in relation to his late mother.
