A mother grappling with her past behavior during alcoholism is seeking to understand the impact of her actions on her son. After a brief relapse, she learned that her 24-year-old son has recorded videos of her in a drunken rage, raising concerns about how to address their strained relationship.
Confronting Past Trauma
Three years ago, the mother invited her son to live with her in her one-bedroom condo while he saved for his own place. During this period, she struggled with alcohol dependency and later faced significant health challenges that required emergency surgery. Although she managed to maintain her sobriety for five months, the emotional toll on her son remained evident.
After a recent relapse, she reached out for psychiatric help, prompting an honest conversation between them. Her son revealed the trauma he experienced during her drinking episodes, a reality she was unaware of due to memory loss from her addiction. He mentioned that he has saved videos and messages capturing her behavior during those moments, which has left her feeling anxious about confronting her past.
Navigating Recovery Together
The mother is contemplating whether to view these videos in order to gain a clearer understanding of her past actions. Yet, advice from Eric Thomas, a relationship columnist, suggests that now is not the right time for such an emotional confrontation. He emphasizes that both mother and son must be in a healthier place to process the feelings these recordings may evoke.
“If and when you do see them, that act needs to have a recovery-focused purpose,” Thomas states. “But it doesn’t sound like that’s where either of you is at present.”
He further recommends that her son should consider attending Al-Anon or SMART Recovery Family meetings. These groups offer support for family members of those struggling with addiction, which could help him address his lingering feelings of trauma and resentment. The mother is encouraged to support him in seeking these resources while continuing her own recovery journey.
The situation illustrates the complex dynamics that can arise in families affected by addiction. Acknowledging past behaviors and working toward healing requires patience and understanding from both sides.
As they navigate this difficult path, the mother must find a way to foster open communication while respecting her son’s emotional boundaries. Their journey towards recovery together may ultimately strengthen their relationship, paving the way for a healthier future.
