The annual Bulwer-Lytton writing contest in Allamuchy Township has once again brought together creativity and humor by celebrating sentences that exemplify the worst qualities of writing. This year, the contest attracted a total of 102 entries, prompting local writer and organizer Bill White to engage a panel of judges in selecting the most entertainingly poorly constructed sentences.
The contest is inspired by the original Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which has been held for decades at San Jose State University. The challenge encourages participants to submit the opening line of an imaginary novel that is intentionally bad, echoing the infamous first line by Victorian novelist Edward George Bulwer-Lytton: “It was a dark and stormy night.” White’s local edition aims to highlight the best of bad writing, drawing submissions from the Lehigh Valley and beyond.
Judging this year proved to be an intriguing experience. The judges, comprising a diverse group of literary aficionados, displayed varied preferences, resulting in some unexpected outcomes. Each of the 25 finalists received at least one top-five vote, but the winners were separated by just two votes. This year’s contest showcased a wide spectrum of styles, from bizarrely amusing to excessively verbose.
Among the notable entries was a sentence from Charles Falteich, which tied for fourth place: “As the temperature dropped and the snow began falling, the children’s delightful squeals in anticipation of the first snow day paled in comparison to the excitement felt by Old Man Granger, who adamantly refused to salt his sidewalks and sat on his front porch with a slide whistle.”
Another standout was Steve Lauducci, whose sentence, “Celeste stomped down the stairs and into the den, pursued by a cloud of Chanel and poor life choices,” garnered acclaim from some judges but was overlooked by others. This discrepancy highlights the subjective nature of what constitutes “bad” writing.
On the more extreme side, Tom Stackhouse submitted a lengthy and convoluted entry that earned two first-place votes: “Opening day had come to pass, the woods were flaming orange, the fields and fen were lush with grass, the trail rimmed with wildflowers, the hunt was on…” This sentence exemplified the kind of excessive detail that can make for unintentionally humorous prose.
Another entry that received a first-place vote but failed to secure a top-six position came from Barbara Bortz. Her sentence described a wife’s culinary revenge against her abusive husband, combining unexpected ingredients in a dish that was anything but ordinary.
The contest also welcomed contributions from writers across the country, including Kenneth Bloodworth from Albuquerque, New Mexico. His entry, which received praise for its vivid imagery, compared the struggles of life to “the turbidity of others he floated past in the sludge of his own existence.” This sentence resonated with some judges, illustrating the varying interpretations of what constitutes good and bad writing.
The results of the contest reveal not only the creativity of the participants but also the complexities of judging subjective art forms. White noted that while the contest is designed to celebrate bad writing, many entries demonstrate an underlying skill that may not fit the traditional understanding of poor prose.
Next week, readers can anticipate the announcement of the overall champion and the remaining place winners. Bill White encourages all aspiring writers to continue exploring their creativity, whether through humor or other forms of expression.
For those interested in participating in future contests or sharing their perspectives, White can be reached at [email protected]. The views expressed in this article reflect the author’s opinions and do not necessarily represent those of the publication.
