In Fargo, a growing number of individuals are embracing the role of death doulas, providing essential support for families during the end-of-life process. Gail Christopher, a former nursing director, has dedicated her career to guiding people through their final moments. Her journey began long before her official designation as a death doula, rooted in personal experiences where she provided comfort and guidance to those nearing death.
Christopher recalls a poignant interaction with a priest at a nursing home in Grand Forks. The priest sought her counsel about dying, revealing vulnerabilities that often go unspoken. “We put clergy on this pedestal,” she notes, reflecting on how even those trained in spiritual matters grapple with fear and uncertainty regarding death. Their conversation highlighted the sacredness and potential healing found in the dying process, which Christopher believes can be as profound as birth.
A New Role in End-of-Life Care
After a 49-year nursing career, Christopher decided to formalize her role as a death doula, graduating from the Conscious Dying Institute in Boulder, Colorado, in 2019. Unlike hospice workers, death doulas do not provide medical care; instead, they focus on the emotional, spiritual, and practical needs of dying individuals and their families. Services offered by doulas include assistance with medical directives, funeral planning, and providing grief support before, during, and after death.
The role of death doula has gained traction in recent years, particularly influenced by the “Death Positive Movement” led by millennial mortician Caitlin Doughty. This movement advocates for open discussions about death, challenging societal norms that often render death a taboo topic. Christopher emphasizes the need for education around death, stating, “How do we start educating that there is something beyond death that can be very beautiful?”
Despite the increasing visibility of death doulas, acceptance within healthcare circles remains a challenge. Christopher has faced resistance when introducing her services to established organizations. “They said, ‘This is what our social workers do. We can’t really identify a job for you here,’” she recalls. Nevertheless, her commitment to advocating for patients and their families persists, particularly in promoting open communication about end-of-life wishes.
Creating Community Connections
Another prominent figure in Fargo’s death doula community is Mantha Josophia, who began her journey into this field following the birth of her daughter in 2017. This experience prompted a reevaluation of her understanding of life and death. After learning about the death doula profession through a social media reel featuring Alua Arthur, Josophia felt compelled to pursue this path, which led her to connect with others in the field.
Josophia, alongside fellow doulas Angie Schulz and Audrey Heilman, has co-founded Sacred Passage Death Doula Services. Their team represents a diverse array of backgrounds but shares a unified mission: to provide compassionate support for those transitioning from life. The doulas aim to fill the gaps left by traditional healthcare and funeral services by offering personalized care and addressing the emotional complexities surrounding death.
Schulz, a funeral assistant, expresses gratitude for the stories shared during funeral services, which have enriched her understanding of life. Her close relationship with her grandmother, who passed away at the age of 99, solidified her decision to become a death doula. “I felt really grateful for that, like it was a gift,” she reflects.
As part of their outreach efforts, the Sacred Passage doulas plan to host community events, including a “Death Cafe” on October 19, 2023, in downtown Fargo. These informal gatherings provide a safe space for individuals to discuss death and grief openly, with the aim of destigmatizing conversations around these topics. Josophia describes the cafe as a venue where attendees can share their experiences or listen without pressure, fostering a supportive community atmosphere.
Through their work, these death doulas are redefining the narrative surrounding end-of-life care. By prioritizing open communication and emotional support, they offer families a unique and compassionate resource during one of life’s most challenging transitions. For more information about Sacred Passage Death Doula Services, interested individuals can reach out via email at [email protected] or contact Gail Christopher at [email protected].
