As families gather during the holiday season, the opportunity arises to assess the well-being of aging parents. Jeffrey Snyder from the Broadcast Retirement Network recently discussed this important topic with Kim and Mike Barnes, founders of the Facebook group Parenting Aging Parents. Their conversation highlighted the key warning signs that caregivers should be vigilant about when visiting older relatives.
The Barnes couple noted that many families are unaware of the challenges their aging parents may face until they witness them firsthand. The Facebook group has seen significant growth, now boasting over 23,000 members across the country. This increase reflects a growing recognition of the need for support among caregivers, as many feel isolated in their experiences.
Kim Barnes emphasized that changes in behavior or physical health can often be subtle and may not be recognized during routine phone calls. In-person visits provide clearer insight into a loved one’s condition. “How do they look? How are their eating habits? Are they losing weight unintentionally?” she asked, highlighting critical observations that can signal a decline in health.
Mike Barnes shared personal insights regarding his father’s health. At 87 years old, his father lives independently and prides himself on taking the stairs rather than the elevator. Any change in this routine, such as opting for the elevator, would raise immediate concerns for Mike. He also recalled his mother’s struggle with memory loss, which became apparent during their conversations despite her claims of reading regularly.
The couple stressed the importance of observing any changes in personal habits or cleanliness. Kim pointed out that alterations to daily routines, such as a decline in housekeeping standards or neglecting personal grooming, can indicate deeper issues. “Any change that is out of character for them could signal a potential cognitive or physical challenge,” she added.
When family members live far apart, such as in the case of Snyder, who resides in Charlotte, North Carolina, while his parents are in Baltimore, he mentioned that distance can sometimes provide a clearer perspective on changes. “Being away might help you notice changes that you wouldn’t see if you were there every day,” he noted.
As the conversation continued, the Barnes emphasized the need for awareness regarding physical mobility. Signs of instability, such as shuffling when walking or gripping furniture for support, should not be dismissed. Mike recounted a time when his father faced mobility issues post-COVID-19 hospitalization, highlighting the importance of recognizing drastic changes in behavior or physical ability.
The discussion also touched on the sensitive nature of denial, particularly when it comes to accepting that a parent may not be as capable as they once were. Mike shared his experience with his mother, who struggled with memory issues but often dismissed them. “You have to open your eyes and admit to yourself that there is a change that needs to be addressed,” he advised.
Balancing concern and denial can be challenging for families. Kim pointed out that while some changes are indeed alarming, not every minor issue should be viewed as a major problem. “It’s about finding a balance and recognizing when something is a one-off versus a symptom of a deeper issue,” she said.
The conversation concluded with a promise from Snyder to explore practical steps caregivers can take when they recognize these warning signs during their next discussion. He encouraged viewers to subscribe to their daily newsletter, The Morning Pulse, for ongoing insights and support.
As families navigate the complexities of caring for aging parents, understanding these warning signs is crucial. Awareness and proactive engagement can lead to timely interventions, ensuring that older loved ones receive the care they need.
