UPDATE: Miss Manners has just released urgent guidance on holiday etiquette, addressing concerns over the Christmas carol “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” and the challenges of hosting guests during the festive season. This advice is particularly relevant as families gather for celebrations across the globe.
In a recent column, Miss Manners received a troubling inquiry about the implications of the carol, where uninvited guests demand figgy pudding, implying they won’t leave without it. The reader expressed discomfort with this expectation, questioning how to address such impolite demands without appearing ungrateful.
“How are we to address this request?” the reader asked. “I don’t want to be ungrateful for their wishes, but think that their insistence is a bit beyond what is considered polite and reasonable.”
Miss Manners responded sharply, humorously noting, “What was that? I couldn’t quite hear you over the ruckus made by the geese a-laying.” Her insights resonate as holiday gatherings approach, reminding hosts to navigate these tricky social expectations with grace.
Another pressing issue highlighted involves a couple who recently stayed at a relative’s home. They faced uncomfortable sleeping arrangements due to a poorly designed mattress gifted by friends. After expressing their dissatisfaction, they feared potential family conflict if they suggested a hotel stay during future visits.
“We seriously won’t be able to sleep on that mattress,” the couple confided, seeking advice on how to handle the situation without igniting family tensions. Miss Manners offered a pragmatic solution, suggesting they remind their mother of her inquiry about the mattress, while also preparing for the possibility of sleeping on the sofa during future visits.
Additionally, Miss Manners tackled a common dilemma faced by home baristas. A reader from an area known for lackluster coffee expressed frustration over not being able to hear guests while preparing espresso drinks. This situation raises the question of how to manage social interactions while engaged in a noisy activity.
“What would be the correct way to let them know that I can’t hear them while I complete the five-minute task of making a drink?”
Miss Manners advised that clarity is key. She suggested waiting for a pause in the conversation, then pointing to the grinder before proceeding with the noisy task, allowing for polite communication without interruption.
As the holiday season approaches, Miss Manners’ guidance serves as an essential reminder to navigate the complexities of social interactions with kindness and humor. These lessons in etiquette are more than just tips; they reflect the importance of maintaining harmonious relationships during gatherings.
For more insights, readers can send their questions directly to Miss Manners through her website or email. This ongoing dialogue about etiquette is crucial as families worldwide prepare for the festivities ahead.
