The evolving nature of family traditions and social media can create tension, as highlighted by two recent letters seeking advice from Eric Thomas, a columnist known for addressing interpersonal challenges. One letter addressed the complexities surrounding a new family tradition, while the other focused on the implications of social media etiquette following a family wedding.
Friendsgiving Sparks Family Tensions
A grandmother expressed her feelings of exclusion as her daughter-in-law hosts a Friendsgiving dinner each year, a gathering that takes place a few weekends before the traditional Thanksgiving holiday. This dinner invites family and friends, creating a sense of community that the grandmother feels she has been left out of. Although she continues to host her own Thanksgiving meal, she struggles with feelings of resentment, as the uniqueness of the holiday has diminished with the rise of Friendsgiving.
The grandmother reflected on her personal journey, having waited to host Thanksgiving for her family after losing both her parents and her husband’s mother. Despite her daughter-in-law’s invitation to join the Friendsgiving festivities, she feels that participating would diminish the significance of her own holiday gathering. Eric Thomas encourages her to reframe her view, suggesting that both gatherings serve valuable purposes. Friendsgiving can provide an opportunity for her daughter-in-law to create a familial atmosphere that she might have missed in her upbringing, while the grandmother’s Thanksgiving can remain a cherished tradition.
Thomas emphasized that both events focus on bringing loved ones together, rather than just on the food served. He recommended that the grandmother concentrate on the joy of family gatherings, allowing her to appreciate the two celebrations as distinct but equally meaningful.
Social Media Misunderstanding After a Wedding
In a separate correspondence, a parent faced a social media dilemma after their son, who recently married his long-term girlfriend in a civil ceremony, expressed discontent over a photo posted online. The couple had communicated their disinterest in sharing their marriage on social media, but the parent interpreted this as a general preference against excessive sharing rather than a complete prohibition.
After posting a celebratory photo, the parent received a late-night text requesting its removal, stating that they had clearly asked not to share anything. The parent expressed confusion and concern over what they perceived as an overreach from their son, feeling that sharing such positive news with friends should be acceptable.
Eric Thomas pointed out that the son’s request was not clearly articulated. He advised the parent to recognize the different implications of social media sharing compared to traditional communication methods. Once a photo is uploaded, it can take on a life of its own, and it is reasonable for the couple to wish to maintain control over images related to their wedding.
The parent took the right step by deleting the post, and Thomas suggested viewing the situation as a minor misunderstanding. He encouraged them to move forward without dwelling on the incident, emphasizing that open communication could help prevent similar misunderstandings in the future.
Both letters highlight the ongoing negotiation of family dynamics in an evolving social landscape, stressing the importance of communication and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships. As families continue to adapt to new traditions and technologies, prioritizing connection and empathy remains essential.
